IF YOU ARE A SUCKSESSFUL BIZNESS ENTREPRENEUR THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH POEPLE ALL OVRER THE WROLD
SOME OF THEASE JREKS DONT BHAVE THE COMMON CUOTRESY TO SPEAK AMRERICAN
BUT YOU HAVE TO SHOW YOUR CLASS AND MATURATY AND REACH OUT TO SPEAK TO THEM ON THERE OWN TREMS
MANY LANGUAGES ARE EASY IF YOU JSUT SPOEAK AMERICAN SLOWLY AND LOUDLY THAT ALL IT TAKE TO GET THEMN TO UDNERSTAND YOU
BUT THE BRUITISH ARE A DIFFEREMNT MATTER ENTRUIRELY
AHHH TIME TO HIT THE RAOD
EVRTY NOW AND THEN WROK-PALCE WANT TO SEND ME AND SMOME OF THE OTHRER EXECRATIVES OUT OF TWON
THIS CAN BE SO WE CAN HAVE MMETINGS OR MAYBE SO WE CAN GET TRAINIG
THAT HOW JIM KLEARNED ALL ABUOIT KEPNEEP-TRGOO AND LAEN SIX SMIGMA
AND SOMOTEIMES A BOSS CAN FNIAGLE SOME TRAINIG THAT IS PARTICLURLY BENEFICAIL
IM TALKING ABOUT BUSINESS TRAINIG IN HAWAYII
READER BILL H ASK JIM HETY JIM WHAT IS BETER IN THE LONG RUIN KNOWLEDGE OR KISSIG UP TYO THE BOSS
WELL BILL JSUT THE FACT TAT YOU HAVE TO ASKS SUCH A QEUSTOIN TELL ME THAT THERE NOT5 MUCH DAGNER OF YOU TAKOIG MY JOB HAHAHAHA
BUT I GEUSS YOU WUOLDNT HAVE ASKED IF YOU DINDT WANT ANSWER SO HERE GOSE
IT IPORTANT TO BE GOOD AT BOTH UNLESS YOU ARE GFIFTEDE LIKE JIM THE BIOSS
FROR EXAPLE YOU MIGHT HAVE A BMA DEGREE BUT IF YUOR BOSS THINK YOUR SAUTIPD THAT THE END OF THE MATTER YOU ARE A IDOIT AS FAR AS HE IS CONCRENED
Continue reading "ASK JIM WHAT IS BETEER KNOWLEDGE OR SUCTOIN" »
WOW MICROSFT NEVER FAIL TO BLOW ME AWAY WITH THERE AMAZIUNG PRODUCTS
FROR INSTRANCE TAKE SHAREPOINT
SHAREPIONT IS A THING THAT REPALCES THE INTERNEWT
WHEN YOU OPEN UP YOUR WEB BOWSER AND YOU USED TO SEE GOOGLE NOW YOU SEE SHAREPIONT
MANY POPLE WANT TO KNBOW WHAT SO GREAT ABUOT SHAREPOINT ANYWAY JIM
WELL SHAEREPOIONT HAS GERATLY INCREASED MY PROCTIVISITY
Continue reading "INCAREASE YOUR PORDUCTIVTY WITH MICORSOFT SHAREPIONT" »
A SUCKSESSFUL MAGANER HAVE TO STAY ON TOP OF TECHONOLOBGICAL TREDNS
FROIR INSTNACE HE NEED TO KNOW WHAT TYPE OF COPUTRER POGRAMMERS HE HAS WROKIG FROR HIM
TAKE UNIXS FROR EXAPLE
SMOME POPLE SAY THAT UINX IN THE WROKPALCE ARE NO LONGER NESCESARRY
OTHRES SAY THEY STILL FULFILL AN ESSPENTAIL PURPOSE
BUT WHAT MATTERS IS WHAT JIM THE BOSS THINKS
RAEDER BOB ASKS JIM:
JIM: you seem up on technology and business management. Why do businesses pour millions of dollars into Microsoft products like SQL Server, Office, Server 2003 and 2007, IIS, .Net, and, of course, Windows desktops when there are free open-source alternatives out there that are free for the taking? In most cases, FOSS alternatives require much less hardware to run that Microsoft's bloated code. Machines too slow to run Windows' latest and greatest are plenty fast enough to run open-source alternatives. What gives?
WOW BOOB I DNOT HAVE ANY IDAE WHAT YOUR TALKIG ABOUT ARE YOU TELLIG ME THAT IT POSSIBLE TO RUIN A BUSINES WITHUOT BUYING MICORSOFT STUFF
MAN WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SMOOKIG
I HAVE BEEN A STUANCH FAN OF STEVE BLAMMER EVRER SINCE I DISCXROVERD HIM AND BELIEVE ME HE DONT LIKE MOROONS LIKE YOU MAKIUIG STATEMENTS LIKE TAHT
SETVE BALLMER EPISTOMIZES THE PREFECT CEO
FROR EXAPLE A WHILE BACK HE DECIDED THAT HE WANTED YAHOO
BUT YAHOO TLOD HIM TO SHOVE IT
NOW WHAT STEVE BLAMMER
NO PORBLEM BLAMER JUST WENT AND GOT SMOME MORE AMMUNITNION
HE FUOUND THEIS ACTIVIST INVETSOR NAMED CARL ICONN
BIY ARE YOU IN TORUIBLE NOW YAHJOO YOU WENT AND MADE STEVE BALLMER MAD
READER CHANG RABBINOWITZ ASK JIM HEY JIM WHATS UP WITH WIDNOWS VITSA HOW CUOLD MICORSOFT SELL SUCH A PEECE OF CARP TO THE PUBILC WHAT WRERE THEY THINCKING ANYWAY
WELL CHING THE FCAT IS THAT WITH GENUISS LIKE STEVE BLAMMER RUNNIG THE ORGYANIZATOIN YOU HAVE TO UDNERSTAND THAT SMOMETIMES MERE COMMON FLOKES LIKE YOU DONT HAVE THE BARINS TO SEE THE BIG PICTRURE
I THICK BLAMER IS GEARIG UP FROR HIS NEXT BIG RELASE
WIDNOWS UBUNTU INTREPID IBEX
I HATE TO SYAY IT BUT THERE ARE SOME CROOKEID POEPLE OUT THRER
THEY MAKE OHNEST BOSSES LIEKE JIM LOOK BADF
THAT WHY IT IMPOTANT TO CONDCUT BUSINESS ENTHNICALLY
THAT KEEP YOU FORM DOIG THINGS THAT MIGHT GET YOIU PUT IN JAIL
BUT YOU CAN STOILL DO FUIN THIGS LIKE FRIRIG POPLES
HEY EVREYBODY JIM THE BOSS BACKL AT LAST
I WENT TPO FLRORIDA WITH MY WIFES OF 255 YEARS
WE WENT TO THE BAECH THERE NOTHIG MORE BUEATIFUL THAN THE PACIFIC OCAEN
WE ASLO WENT TO THE SLAVADOR DALI MUSUEM IN SAINT PETERSBRUG
MAN LET ME TELL YOU THAT DALI WAS A LITLE BIT OUT THRERE
I MSUST COFESS I HAD NEVER HREAD OF SIR HILARITY CLINTON BFRORE THIS YEAR
SIR HILLARY WAS THE FRIST MAN TO CILMB MOUNT EVERETT BACK IN THE 50S
SO WHT HE UP TO NOW WELL LET ME TELL YOU
NOW HE RUNNIG FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNTITED STATES
AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE MORER I LEARN ABUOT HIME THE MORE IMPERSSED I AM
HERES ONE OF HIS QOUTES
"We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."
WOW NOW THAT SUOND LIKE A GUY WHO KONWS HOW TO DWONSIZE HERES ANOTHER ONE
SMOMWETIMES A BOSS IS GIVEN A TREU GIFT A GENIUS EPLOYEE
hOW CAN YOU RECOGNZIE GENUIS QUICKLY
WELL LET ME GVIVE YOU A EXAPLE
AT WROK-PALCE ONE OF OUR MAGANERS SPOTTED TLALENT IN A GUY WHO WAS APPLIYING FOR A STUPERINTEDENT JOB
THE MAGANER SAW SOMETHIG SO HE TOOK A CHANCE ON HIM
WITHIN SIX MOUNTHS THIS GFIFTED SUPTERINTENDENT HAD SHAVED THE COPANY SEVERAL THUOSANDS OF DOLLARS
THRERE HAVE BEEN A SAMALL HANDFULLOF TRULY GREAT LEADRERS THROUGHUOT HISTROY
ONE OF TTHEM WAS SIPIRO AGNEWD WHO WAS PERSIDENT OF VICE FOR ANOTHER GREAT LEADER RICHARD NIXION
AGNEW IS AN ORVERLOOKEDF GENUS
HE WAS A LOT LIKE HARRY TURMAN HE CALLED A SPADE A SPAD
HE USED SOME TERMS THAT WRE SO FAR AHAED OF THERE TIME THAT MANY COMON IDOITS DIDNT UDNERSTAND THEM
LETYS FACE IT SOMETMIMES YOU HAVE TO GIVE EPLOYEES BAD NEWS
MAYBE SLALES ARE DOWN
MABYE PORFITS ARE DWON
OR MAYBE THE COIPANY IS BIEG RUN BY IDOITS STRAIGHT DOWN THE TIOLET
UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO HRIRE A NEW CREW BECAUSE THE OLD ONE PANICED AND LEFT FORR OTHER JOBS YOU HAVE TO PUT SPNIN ON BADNEWS TO MAKE IT SUOND LIKE GOOD NEWS
I HAVER A BAD CHEST COLD RIGHT NOW DOES THAT MEAN IM AT HOME FLEELIG SORRY FROR MYSELF
HECK NO IM AT WROK SPRAEDIG MY GREMS ALL OVER MY COPETION
IT A DOG-EAT-CAT WROLD AT WROK-PALCE AND IF I STAYED HOEM JUST BECUASE I HAD A FEVER AND WAS CUOGHIG UP BLOOD IT WOULDNT TAKE LONG FOR MY RIVAL MAGANERS TO MOCVE PAST ME ON THE LADDRER
SO PAY ATTENTOIN TO JIM THE BOSS AND LEARAN HOW TO USE A BAD COLD TO YUOR ADVDANTAGE
SOMETIMES IT POSIBBLE TO GET STUCK IN A RUUT AT WROK
YOU JUST CANT CLAIMB THE LADDER ANY BHIGHER
WHAT DCAN YOU DO YOU EITHRER ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE AS HGIGH AS YOUR GOING TO CLIMB OR ELSE YOU DCAN JUMP SHPIP AND GO FROR ANOTHER JOB
THERE HAVE BENE MANY CROPORATE ICONS THAT HAVE PORVIDED A FINE EXAPLE FOR HOW BUISNESS SHUOLD BE RUN
FOR EXAPLE THERE IS AL CPAPONE WHO PROVIDED THE POOR POPLE OF CHICAGO WITH LIQOUR WHEN THE US GVOVERNMENT TRIEDTO MAKE IT ILLEGAL
THERE ALSO KENNETH LAYS WHO TOOK A FOLUNDERING CROPORATION CALLED ENDRON AND TRURNED IT INTO A NICE BIG BASEBALL STADUIM
BUT WITHUPOT A DUOBT THE GREATETST OF BUSINESSMEN IS SETVE BALLMER
IT IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO LIKE STVEVE
Continue reading "SETVE BLAMMER I LIKE THE WAY YOU DO BUSINESS" »
YPOU ATRE READIG JIM THE BOSS OBVUIOSLY YOU ARE AN ABOVE AVRERAGE PERSON WHO IS INTRERESTED IN BECOMIG AND EFECTIVE MAGANER
BUT WHO ELSE READ JMIM THE BOSS
WELL LAST WEEK WE HAD OVER TOW MILLION VSISITORS AND THRERE WERE SOME PERETTY BIG NAMES AMONG THEM
FROR INSTANCE AMONG THE FANS OF JMIM THE BOSS ARE NO OTYER THAN GOERGE W BUSH HILLARY CILNTON JOHN MCLAIN LYNDON LAROOSH AND BARACK BIN OBAMA
THAT RIGHT ALL OF TGYHE TOP PERSIDENTAIL CANDIDATES READ JIM THE BOSS TO HLEP THEM FIGRURE OUT HOW TO MANGE THE CUONTRY
AT ANY WROKPACLE THERE ARE THOSE WHO QIUETLY DO THERE JOBS
THERES ANOTHER NAME FROR THEM
SHUMCKS
THAT EBCUASE YOU HAVE TO MAKE LOST OF NIOSE IF YOU WANT TO GET NOTICED BY UPER MAGANEMENT
AND THAT HOW YOU GET PRECIEVED AS BEIG IPORTANT TO THE COPANY
HEY COPORATE LADDER CILMBERS JIM IS BACK
LAST WEEK SOME POTILICALLY CORRECT GUY FROM SHRAK TANK KINDNAPPED ME AND TRIED TO TRUN ME INTO SOME KIDND OF MONSTER WHO NEVRER FRIERED POPLE
IT WAS A NIHGHTMARE BELIVE ME
ANYHOW I AMD BACKL IN FLULL CHARGE
SO LETS GET YOU MOVITATED TO BE AGOOD MAGANER SHALL WE
MAKIG MAGANERS OUT OF POEPLE NOT ALWAYS A EXACT SCIENSCE
SOMETIMES YOU BECOME MAGANER EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE BASICLY AN INCOMPETENT BOOOB
NOW DONT GET ME WORNG IM NOT CRITISIZING IN FACT JIM PROUD OF YOU FROR PULLIG THE WOOL OVER THE HIGHER UPS EYES
BUT LET SAY YOUR REALLY OVERER YOUR HEAD
HOW CAN YOU NKEEP YOUR OWN SATUPIDITY UDNER WRARPS
SO LETS SAY YOU HAVE BEEN SPROTTED BY UPPER MAGANMENT AS A POTETIAL SUPREVISOR AND HAVE BEEN INVITED TO JOIN SUPERVISER TRAINIG CLASS WHAT DO YOU DO NOW
WELL YOU HAVE TO TAKE A HRAD LOOK AT YOURSLEF AND SEE IF YOU SEE A MAGANER LOOKIG BACK AT YOU
THE FRIST THING YOU WILL HAVE TO DO IS STOP ASSOCIATIG WITH YOUR FRORMER FREINDS AT WROK
WHY YOU ASK
BECAUSE IF THEY WRERE FREINDS WITH YOU WHILE YOU WERE A COMON HOURLY LABRORER THEN THEY ARE CERTAIANLY NOT THE KIND OF POEPLE YOU WANT HANGIG AROUND YOU NOW
THE CERAM RISES TO9 THE TOP
SHAKSPEARE SAID THAT OVER A THUOSAND YEARS AGO AND HE KENW WHAT HE TALKIG ABOUT TOO IN FACT IF HE WAS ALIVE NOW HE WUOLD PORBABL;Y BE A SUCKSESFUL CORPROATE MAGANER LIKE ME
ONE OF THE MAGANERS JOBS IS TO LOOK OVERE HIS EPLOYEES AND MAKE RECOMENDATYIONS AS TO WHO SHUOLD GO INTYO MAGENMANT TRAINIG
SO WHAT ARE SIGNS THAT A EPLOYEE MIHGT BE THE NEXT JIM THE BOSS
EVRER SINCE WROK-PALCE SENTR ME TO KOPENR-TERGOE DECSION MAKIG TRAININGG MY LIFE AHS CHAGNED FOR THE BETTER
NOW I NEVRWER MAKE A DESCIOSN WITHOUT CONSUTIG MY KOPNER-TERGOE MANUALS
IM SRERIOUS JUST NOW I WASNT SRURE IF I WATNED CREAM IN MY COFFEY SO I GOT MY MANAULS OUT DREW SOME FLOW CHRATS AND WEIGHED ALL POSSIBLBE OPTOINS
I FINALY DECIDED TO GO WITH BLACK COFFEY BUT BY THEJN SMOMEBODY ELSE HAD EMPTIED THE POT
LETS FAC3E IT BOSSSES DONT GET TO FRIRE EVEYRBODY
SOMETIMSES A EPLOYEE QUIT WHO REALY IS VALAUBLE
WHAT DIO YOU DO THEN
WELL THE FRIST THIG YOU DO IS ASSUME HE IS STEALIG VALUABLE COPANY SECRTETS
YOU COFISCATE HIS COPUTER AS SOON AS HE GIVE NOTICE AND LOOK FROR ANYTHIG ICRIMINATIG ON HIS JHRAD DRIVE SO YOU CAN DENY SREVERANCE PAY
Continue reading "WHAT TO DO WJHEN A VALVUED EPLOYEE QUITS" »
THERE ARE MNANY DISTARCTOINS WHEN YOU ARE TYHE BOSS
YOUR METNAL PROCCESSES ARE SO FAR ABOVE THOSE OF YOUR LOWLY EPLOYEES THAT YOU CAN FROGET WHAT YOUR HERE FOR
WELL BUTSER YOU BETER NEVER FROGET THAT YOUR HERRE TO MAKE THE COPANY MONEY
AND IF YOUR NOT MANKIG MONEY FOR THE COPAMNY WELL BY GOLLY THEY JUSST MIGHGT FRIRE THE BOSS